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Xavier

Dysfunctional Relationships In My Face

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Xavier

I work at a hotel, and lots of women get sent over from the Community for Non Violence Center, also known as the abused women center.

Every week I see women come in here banged up, and then they CONTACT THE b*st*rd AND LET HER KNOW WHERE SHE IS.

Then they begin to fight and I have to get involved.

Over and over and over.

Today it was a 19 year old from a broken drug riddled home who moved from Oregon to California with some hideous 50 year old Narcissist.

Obviously she was abusing meth and stuck in one of the worst cycles of abuse I've seen in a while.  So after talking to her for hours, after her reading about Narcissistic Relationships, after her seeing every single one of her complaints on the screen spelling out her situation in cold print, after all of that...

She calls him, he comes here, and they start fighting.

It makes me a little colder inside to have to witness this so much.

She went on about how nice guys finish last, and how he's the only one to make her feel, and how much she cares while he hurts her and steals everything including her phone, her clothes, her money, her family, her mind apparently.  It's just so damn disgusting to witness this, and I'm glad I'm leaving this crap town for good.  So many narcissists using meth and abuse to control girls in this town.  Revolting.

So they're arguing, but not loud enough to have disturbed any of the other guests, so I can do nothing but wait for it to get out of control.

"Women are only attracted to bad men" she says with all sincerity.  What a sick thought.  What a sick world.  

 

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Xavier

So it's some time later, and I walked by the room and overheard.....

"Come on baby, you know I love you baby, I never hit you, you're the one who gets mad" straight out the Narcissists handbook, word for word.

She's been listening to this for a couple hours now.  What a moron she is.

She's here because the Abuse Shelter put her up because he stole her wallet and phone and threw her to the ground hard enough to leave a huge bruise, and then she listens to that?

I need to just harden my heart, because this insanity is too much for me.  

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Posted (edited)

Maybe their dads abandoned them early on in their life (they divorced their mother?).  Have no idea about a father figure because one wasn't present, so they chase after anything that moves.  

A lesbian that actually is chasing after [bad] men while trying to state that she is going to marry a woman, and how does that work out?  The only man she considers is a dirty old man?  Most likely trying to find her estranged daddy.  

Edited by counterintelligence

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Narc's are master manipulators. Their victims are conditioned subjects.

What you saw is typical of narc/vic. Some survive. Some don't. It is a textbook form of insanity most definitely. The Narc knows how to pick who is most vulnerable and perfectly orchestrate their universe. It does have to do with flaws (or percieved flaws) of the victim, usually lack of love.

So if folks loved each other better and truer, this would be less. Good luck with that one cause this is earth and humans we are talking about. 

 

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1 hour ago, Picklesnout said:

The Narc knows how to pick who is most vulnerable and perfectly orchestrate their universe. It does have to do with flaws (or perceived flaws) of the victim, usually lack of love.

It takes two to tango...I think they also call it manipulation-codependent relationship.  The narc loves himself too much, but what does he need the victim for?  The victim does not feel any love or less loved.  But this seems like a mutually exclusive situation... :frantics:where did it go wrong?  The narc wants to increase his function of self love by having somebody else idolize himself.  The victim is fatally attracted to someone who will think that they are being loved by the person who only loves himself, but they will worship the narc's own self-love.  This is a convenient relationship for the narc, but he is nothing more than a selfish individual having no regard for the victim who still comes out empty handed.  :angry: 

1 hour ago, Picklesnout said:

So if folks loved each other better and truer, this would be less.

https://journals.lww.com/em-news/Fulltext/2003/09000/Advice_for_Residents__Love_Early_and_Well.22.aspx

Love Early and Well.

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Isn't Xavier the one getting ready to pack his bags and head over to Aimes, Iowa? And you are the one having to take a bus to get there because your car was stolen in the wonderful community which you now reside. Soon you can ride out of there and leave much of that silly drama behind you. I know their are problems where ever you find people but some places are much easier than others. A lot easier. 
I dedicate a song to you as you make your new journey in life:

      

 

 

 Yep. Get on the Bus, Gus

     
 

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Posted (edited)
15 minutes ago, BadBrad said:

Isn't Xavier the one getting ready to pack his bags and head over to Aimes, Iowa? And you are the one having to take a bus to get there because your car was stolen in the wonderful community which you now reside. Soon you can ride out of there and leave much of that silly drama behind you. I know their are problems where ever you find people but some places are much easier than others. A lot easier. 
I dedicate a song to you as you make your new journey in life:

      

 

 

 Yep. Get on the Bus, Gus

     
 

It's hop on the bus, Gus.

I know because my parents named me Ludwig but then they decided to call me Gus.

Aint that a b*tch.

(drop off the key, Lee and set yourself free)

I realized I left no words to the topic. I have been involved with domestic violence. A man and a woman can be drunks or drug addicts and beat the shit out of one another. Then they love one another the next day.

It has more to do with the substance abuse than the people. The people are like a side show when there is the fat beast sitting on your chest laughing and eating everything around you while you die.

 

Edited by VonLud
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Get .... Hop.

Xavier needs to find the exit and move on in life. If it doesn't work out, guess what? He can always move back. 

      

 

I have left bad situations in my life. After I looked back, the only regret I had was that I didn't bail sooner.

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