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 Ukshep    16,915
18 minutes ago, YaKnow2.0 said:

I have been doing drugs since 14 yrs old(20 yrs).Im clean now and my feelings are coming back.I cant hide from them and drugs didnt solve shiit!!! Been goin to a meeting everyday and sharing.If anyone needs to get anything off their chest or wants help PLEASE POST HERE.just letting it out helps.I dont want to die,i have to much to live for

We all have something to live for. Fire has returned to our hearts. You recovering yourself meant something. Everything happens for a reason.

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 YaKnow2.0    565
8 minutes ago, Ukshep said:

We all have something to live for. Fire has returned to our hearts. You recovering yourself meant something. Everything happens for a reason.

i lost my wife and kids for NOW.but we are still in love!!!i get myself better and they will be next me again!!!It hurts bad but i know using wont fix ANYTHING.i got support.i just cant go home yet

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 Ukshep    16,915
Just now, YaKnow2.0 said:

i lost my wife and kids for NOW.but we are still in love!!!i get myself better and they will be next me again!!!It hurts bad but i know using wont fix ANYTHING.i got support.i just cant go home yet

I went through a similar change myself. Ditching booze and a lot of other stuff. Not as serious as yours sounds but I just want to say. As long as you notice what you do and have done and understand the why... you will overcome anything and be where you want to be. You are on a journey of understanding yourself. And that is where you will grow.. Have faith in it!

And if you need an ear. We're always here!

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 schon    778
Posted (edited)

Congrats OP.

It will only get better. After your body resets to its new normal you just keep feeling better and better. You arent alone in being there.

I dont mind a little mind bending  but sobriety is where its at for me now. It will get easier if my experiences in my youth hold true for you too.

Edited by schon
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 YaKnow2.0    565
2 hours ago, schon said:

Congrats OP.

It will only get better. After your body resets to its new normal you just keep feeling better and better. You arent alone in being there.

I dont mind a little mind bending  but sobriety is where its at for me now. It will get easier if my experiences in my youth hold true for you too.

thanks for sharing.lol i do appreciate it tho!!!!

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 YaKnow2.0    565

I used to shoot heroin and cocaine together(speedball).i stopped usong heroin over 4 yrs ago and got on suboxone.Did great for 2 yrs.Got a great job,saved money but i was still a slave to a drug. wife had a miscarriage and she become very depressed(so did i)but she shut down.I started to shoot cocaine again and take xanax to sleep!!! I was cleaning my mothers house today and found a xanax.first thought,crush that shit and snort it.BUT i didnt i called some people and we figured a great idea.if i threw it away my mom and everyone would think i did it.So i recorded me flushing it down the toilet.First time in 20 yrs i threw drugs away.Im slowing getting my physical strength back.i havent slept in 2 weeks.well about 2 hours a night and i cry alot.Im starting to feel again and its like an overload to my brain.

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1 hour ago, YaKnow2.0 said:

I used to shoot heroin and cocaine together(speedball).i stopped usong heroin over 4 yrs ago and got on suboxone.Did great for 2 yrs.Got a great job,saved money but i was still a slave to a drug. wife had a miscarriage and she become very depressed(so did i)but she shut down.I started to shoot cocaine again and take xanax to sleep!!! I was cleaning my mothers house today and found a xanax.first thought,crush that shit and snort it.BUT i didnt i called some people and we figured a great idea.if i threw it away my mom and everyone would think i did it.So i recorded me flushing it down the toilet.First time in 20 yrs i threw drugs away.Im slowing getting my physical strength back.i havent slept in 2 weeks.well about 2 hours a night and i cry alot.Im starting to feel again and its like an overload to my brain.

great job...I know that was hard!11

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 YaKnow2.0    565

i really appreciate all the support i have all ready got from here. i have so mich to live for AND HOW COULD I SAVE MY FAMILY WHEN SHTF IF IM ON DRUG? i couldnt.

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 LuckyBolt    1,169
1 hour ago, YaKnow2.0 said:

I used to shoot heroin and cocaine together(speedball).i stopped usong heroin over 4 yrs ago and got on suboxone.Did great for 2 yrs.Got a great job,saved money but i was still a slave to a drug. wife had a miscarriage and she become very depressed(so did i)but she shut down.I started to shoot cocaine again and take xanax to sleep!!! I was cleaning my mothers house today and found a xanax.first thought,crush that shit and snort it.BUT i didnt i called some people and we figured a great idea.if i threw it away my mom and everyone would think i did it.So i recorded me flushing it down the toilet.First time in 20 yrs i threw drugs away.Im slowing getting my physical strength back.i havent slept in 2 weeks.well about 2 hours a night and i cry alot.Im starting to feel again and its like an overload to my brain.

Hi YaKnow - and welcome!

I could be totally off base, but it sounds like you're going through a manic phase.  Your energy, not sleeping, the emotions and crying.  I've been there. It's a crazy awesome time.  But what goes up...Must come down.  I'm just assuming though, because addicts (I speak for myself) will always have an addiction, whether it's drugs, booze, cigs, porn, whatever.  If it's not one thing, it's another.

Best thing to do would be to use your energy and develop an exercise routine (if you haven't done so already).  This will help regulate your dopamine a little better and will make you tired.  Get real serious about it and make it a routine like the meetings, every day at the same time.  I stress this.  Find someone at the meetings to go with you, or find someone in the community to go with you and be a solid partner.
Watch your caffeine and sugar intake, if not eliminating them altogether.  You'll notice a huge difference.  And if you're exercising everyday, you won't need caffeine.

Let us know if you need anything!  There's a ton of info on here about health and wellness, supplements, healthy eating, etc.  All this and exercise will really get you to a whole new level.

 

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 Cinnamon    19,692
On 3/31/2017 at 4:58 AM, YaKnow2.0 said:

I have been doing drugs since 14 yrs old(20 yrs).Im clean now and my feelings are coming back.I cant hide from them and drugs didnt solve shiit!!! Been goin to a meeting everyday and sharing.If anyone needs to get anything off their chest or wants help PLEASE POST HERE.just letting it out helps.I dont want to die,i have to much to live for

I love you, ya know!? A little word play there, but sincere. One day at a time!  :smiley_flowers: :huggles:You have been missed here. 

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 YaKnow2.0    565
12 minutes ago, Cinnamon said:

I love you, ya know!? A little word play there, but sincere. One day at a time!  :smiley_flowers: :huggles:You have been missed here. 

makin me cry again you a$$es!!!!:heart::tissuespls::hug:.

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