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olderbytheday

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About olderbytheday

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  1. http://skippyslist.com/list/ Skippy’s List: The 213 things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the U.S. Army A quick note: I don’t mind if you want to quote a few items from my list of your site. But please do not copy the list in it’s entirety. Explanations of these events: a) I did myself, and either got in trouble or commended. (I had a Major shake my hand for the piss bottle thing, for instance.) b) I witnessed another soldier do it. (Like the Sergeant we had, that basically went insane, and crucified some dead mice.) c) Was spontaneously informed I was not allowed to do. (Like start a porn studio.) d) Was the result of a clarification of the above. (“What about especially patriotic porn?”) e) I was just minding my own business, when something happened. (“Schwarz…what is *that*?” said the Sgt, as he pointed to the back of my car? “Um….a rubber sheep…I can explain why that’s there….”) To explain how I’ve stayed out of jail/alive/not beaten up too badly….. I’m funny, so they let me live. The 213 Things…. 1. Not allowed to watch Southpark when I’m supposed to be working. 2. My proper military title is “Specialist Schwarz” not “Princess Anastasia”. 3. Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic. 4. Not allowed to challenge anyone’s disbelief of black magic by asking for hair. 5. Not allowed to get silicone breast implants. 6. Not allowed to play “Pulp Fiction” with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer. 7. Not allowed to add “In accordance with the prophesy” to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me. 8. Not allowed to add pictures of officers I don’t like to War Criminal posters. 9. Not allowed to title any product “Get Over it”. 10. Not allowed to purchase anyone’s soul on government time. 11. Not allowed to join the Communist Party. 12. Not allowed to join any militia. 13. Not allowed to form any militia. 14. Not allowed out of my office when the president visited Sarajevo. 15. Not allowed to train adopted stray dogs to “Sic Brass!” 16. Must get a haircut even if it tampers with my “Samson like powers”. 17. God may not contradict any of my orders. 18. May no longer perform my now (in)famous “Barbie Girl Dance” while on duty. 19. May not call any officers immoral, untrustworthy, lying, slime, even if I’m right. 20. Must not taunt the French any more. 21. Must attempt to not antagonize SAS. 22. Must never call an SAS a “Wanker”. 23. Must never ask anyone who outranks me if they’ve been smoking crack. 24. Must not tell any officer that I am smarter than they are, especially if it’s true. 25. Never confuse a Dutch soldier for a French one. 26. Never tell a German soldier that “We kicked your ass in World War 2!” 27. Don’t tell Princess Di jokes in front of the paras (British Airborne). 28. Don’t take the batteries out of the other soldiers alarm clocks (Even if they do hit snooze about forty times). 29. The Irish MPs are not after “Me frosted lucky charms”. 30. Not allowed to wake an Non-Commissioned Officer by repeatedly banging on the head with a bag of trash. 31. Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions. 32. Not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post. 33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody. 34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody. 35. Not allowed to sing “High Speed Dirt” by Megadeth during airborne operations. (“See the earth below/Soon to make a crater/Blue sky, black death, I’m off to meet my maker”) 36. Can’t have flashbacks to wars I was not in. (The Spanish-American War isn’t over). 37. Our medic is called “Sgt Larwasa”, not “Dr. Feelgood”. 38. Our supply Sgt is “Sgt Watkins” not “Sugar Daddy”. 39. Not allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis that the world is going to end, more than once. 40. I do not have super-powers. 41. “Keep on Trucking” is *not* a psychological warfare message. 42. Not allowed to attempt to appeal to mankind’s baser instincts in recruitment posters. 43. Camouflage body paint is not a uniform. 44. I am not the atheist chaplain. 45. I am not allowed to “Go to Bragg boulevard and shake daddy’s little money maker for twenties stuffed into my undies”. 46. I am not authorized to fire officers. 47. I am not a citizen of Texas, and those other, forty-nine, lesser states. 48. I may not use public masturbation as a tool to demonstrate a flaw in a command decision. 49. Not allowed to trade military equipment for “magic beans”. 50. Not allowed to sell magic beans during duty hours. 51. Not allowed to quote “Dr Seuss” on military operations. 52. Not allowed to yell “Take that Cobra” at the rifle range. 53. Not allowed to quote “Full Metal Jacket “ at the rifle range. 54. “Napalm sticks to kids” is *not* a motivational phrase. 55. An order to “Put Kiwi on my boots” does *not* involve fruit. 56. An order to “Make my Boots black and shiny” does not involve electrical tape. 57. The proper response to a lawful order is not “Why?” 58. The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence- Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all Marines are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker, Eskimo Nell, we’ve all got jackboots now, sl*t puppy, or any references to squid. 59. May not make posters depicting the leadership failings of my chain of command. 60. “The Giant Space Ants” are not at the top of my chain of command. 61. If one soldier has a 2nd Lt bar on his uniform, and I have an E-4 on mine It means he outranks me. It does not mean “I have been promoted three more times than you”. 62. It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to Specialist Schwarz. 63. Command decisions do *not* need to be ratified by a 2/3 majority. 64. Inflatable novelties do *not* entitle me to BAQ or Separation pay. 65. There are no evil clowns living under my bed. 66. There is no “Anti-Mime” campaign in Bosnia. 67. I am not the Psychological Warfare Mascot. 68. I may not line my helmet with tin foil to “Block out the space mind control lasers”. 69. May not pretend to be a fascist stormtrooper, while on duty. 70. I am not authorized to prescribe any form of medication. 71. I must not flaunt my deviances in front of my chain of command. 72. May not wear gimp mask while on duty. 73. No military functions are to be performed “Skyclad”. 74. Woad is not camouflage makeup. 75. May not conduct psychological experiments on my chain of command. 76. “Teddy Bear, Teddy bear, turn around” is *not* a cadence. 77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them “You don’t need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for.” 78. I may not call block my chain of command. 79. I am neither the king nor queen of cheese. 80. Not allowed to wear a dress to any army functions. 81. May not bring a drag queen to the battalion formal dance. 82. May not form any press gangs. 83. Must not start any SITREP (Situation Report) with “I recently had an experience I just had to write you about….” 84. Must not use military vehicles to “Squish” things. 85. Not allowed to make any Psychological Warfare products depicting the infamous Ft. Bragg sniper incident. 86. May not challenge anyone in my chain of command to the “field of honor”. 87. If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it. 88. Must not refer to 1st Sgt as “Mom”. 89. Must not refer to the Commander as “Dad”. 90. Inflatable sheep do *not* need to be displayed during a room inspection. 91. I am not authorized to initiate Jihad. 92. When asked to give a few words at a military ceremony “Romper Bomper Stomper Boo” is probably not appropriate. 93. Nerve gas is not funny. 94. Crucifixes do not ward off officers, and I should not test that. hahahahahahahahahahaha 95. I am not in need of a more suitable host body. 96. “Redneck Zombies” is not a military training aid. 97. Gozer does not dwell in my refrigerator. 98. The proper response to a chemical weapon attack is not “Tell my chain of command what I really think about them, and then poke holes in their masks.” 99. A smiley face is not used to mark a minefield. so go read the rest as I did not want to copy the whole thing.... I must be tired because I can't type due to all the laughing
  2. olderbytheday

    North Korea Has Something We Want

    Also Russia was initiating some stuff in 2014 Russia To Revamp North Korea's Rail System, Eyes Mineral Resources http://www.ibtimes.com/russia-revamp-north-koreas-rail-system-eyes-mineral-resources-1716262 Russia and North Korea are considering a deal that would allow Russia access to the pariah nation’s mineral resources. Moscow reported that in exchange for access to the North’s mineral-rich lands, Russia would invest $25 billion into revamping the country’s dated railway network. According to Russia’s state-run Rossiskaya Gazeta, which quoted Russia’s minister for development of Far Eastern Russia, Alexander Galushka, the project would take on the task of updating roughly 3,000 km, or about 1,875 miles, of the North’s railroads over the span of 20 years. “It is a commercial project that is mutually advantageous,” Galushka told the newspaper. The railways being updated would also include those that provide access to the North’s mineral deposits and other natural resources.
  3. olderbytheday

    North Korea Has Something We Want

    http://thediplomat.com/2014/07/north-korea-resumes-rare-earth-exports-to-china/ Article from 2014 North Korea exported massive amounts of rare earth elements (REEs) to China in recent months, a report from a South Korean-based trade organization said this week. According to a report published this week by the Korea International Trade Association, in May and June of this year Pyongyang exported 62,662 kilograms of REEs to China for $1.8 million. The report said that Pyongyang’s REE exports to China totaled $550,000 in May and $1.3 million in June. North Korea first exported REEs to China in January last year, when it shipped roughly $24,700 worth of them to Beijing. It later halted the exports, however, only to now resume them at a dramatically increased rate. China hmmmm
  4. olderbytheday

    The Truth about Alex Jones and #PizzaGate

    Titus loses it after travelling up to the PG protest. He makes a point. He and others took the time to get together and try to do something. Alex apologizes and dissuades investigation. Later he is going after Seaman. Peace out to you Titus. Totally understand his frustration.
  5. olderbytheday

    The Truth about Alex Jones and #PizzaGate

    I really like that. Maybe AJs move was his. The control is using it for whatever they are up to at this moment. AJ was to be litigated, he responded, they will let him do whatever he wants. If it is to their advantage, ie no more pizzagate, then great. If he digs too deep elsewhere then he will be sacrificed (likely just online ;)) Unless... Trump is behind the digging and this is the way to get around the control at the top. Trump knows that people love their children and will: "all survive whatever it takes. When opportunity knocks! Someone will always answer!" No the play continues. We are participants and being decent human beings we will answer this opportunity. Too many are risking too much for this to shut down just yet.
  6. olderbytheday

    Operation Temperer | Now activated!

    Sounds like it's on. Maybe this is the movement required to change the whole momentum of this thing. God Bless.
  7. olderbytheday

    Am I an Anomaly!

    So many kinds of injustice. We want a world of peace and love. It is only natural to wish ill on those working against this. God says wrath is His. We have dreamed of so many ways that killary for example could be dealt with. It only hurts our own souls spending any time on vengeful thoughts. I will not let them have that and I trust that if they don't find God's love they will be dealt with way worse than anything we could imagine. Shep you are not an anomaly but one of a few in a world of only a few. (A few that will be saved that is.)
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